Today I was told I was naive because I couldn't comprehend the husband/wife issues in the office. I know I just got married 8 months ago and that my life right now is comparatively simple. We do not yet have children with schedules of their own and committees and meetings to attend. We are just us right now.
I still do not think that I have to submit to the steriotypical spouse syndrome (S3). You know, the one where husbands don't get gifts for their wives that their wives actually like. The one where wives just nag nag nag all day and cry the whole night because they are so emotional. The one where husbands are hypotized by THE sports event of the year and wives just don't get it. The one where wives can spend $100 on a basket and send their husband through the roof or the husband buys a new set of golf clubs and the wife screams her head off. S3 victims are the ones you see talking to each other in "that tone" or not at all. They don't ever find time for each other and when they do all they can talk about is household/kids/money stuff which is funny because they usually don't have time for that talk either. Another S3 symptom is the uncanny ability to speak ill of their spouse and not mean a word of it. Have you ever seen this?
Friday, December 22, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Happy Solstice
Thu., Dec. 21, 2006, marks the solstice—the beginning of winter in the Northern Hemisphere and summer in the Southern Hemisphere. It is also the shortest day of the year in terms of daylight. From here on out we will be seeing more daylight here in the North Hem.
More light. That's nice. But I ordered SNOW!!!!
More light. That's nice. But I ordered SNOW!!!!
Sunday, December 17, 2006
To buy or not to buy.....
It is Sunday afternoon and my husband and I are vegging out on the couch. He was reading the WSJ and read an article about renting versus buying and he difference in cost. So, do you rent or are you buying? If renting, why? Why aren't you buying?
Friday, December 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Languages
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Вы для посещения моего blog
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(Japanese, Korean, Russian, Chinese, English)
나의 blog 방문을 당신을 감사하십시오
Вы для посещения моего blog
谢谢参观我的blog
Thank you for visiting my blog
(Japanese, Korean, Russian, Chinese, English)
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Thanksgiving 1863
October 3, 1863
The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years, with large increase of freedom.
No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.
It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.
In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand, and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.
Done at the city of Washington, this third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the independence of the United States the eighty-eighth.
A. Lincoln
The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years, with large increase of freedom.
No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.
It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.
In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand, and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.
Done at the city of Washington, this third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the independence of the United States the eighty-eighth.
A. Lincoln
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Where is the Bride?
When I was 16 God interrupted my world and proved to me that He was real, that He loved me, and that He was listening to every single thing I said. It was an amazing encounter and I have never been the same since.
When I was 27 He set me free from fears and torments I thought were a natural part of my existence. He showed me truth about Himself that set me free from lies I had grown up believing with all my heart. For the first time I believed I was truely loved by God.
When I was 33 He released me into a whole new world of freedom and fulfillment changing my life forever. I got married.
The more I think about God and His real-ness and His love, the more I want more of Him. I want to see Him reveal more of Himself and His ways. I want to see the big picture. I want to see the Bride of Christ become free from bindings and blindings that hold her hostage in slumber and foolishness. I want to know what God originally intended her to be. I want to watch her wake up and come alive. I want to see her finally able to fully revel in the Love of Christ, free and powerful.
Think about who the Bride is. Think about what she looks like right now compared to what the Father originally intended her to be. Think about the power of God and His ability in action to draw her away from her own self-made kingdom back to His. Watch her turn and stare in shock at the realization that these are two different things. See the Stone that makes men stumble. Watch the Ultimate Romace unfold!
Do you feel romanced?
When I was 27 He set me free from fears and torments I thought were a natural part of my existence. He showed me truth about Himself that set me free from lies I had grown up believing with all my heart. For the first time I believed I was truely loved by God.
When I was 33 He released me into a whole new world of freedom and fulfillment changing my life forever. I got married.
The more I think about God and His real-ness and His love, the more I want more of Him. I want to see Him reveal more of Himself and His ways. I want to see the big picture. I want to see the Bride of Christ become free from bindings and blindings that hold her hostage in slumber and foolishness. I want to know what God originally intended her to be. I want to watch her wake up and come alive. I want to see her finally able to fully revel in the Love of Christ, free and powerful.
Think about who the Bride is. Think about what she looks like right now compared to what the Father originally intended her to be. Think about the power of God and His ability in action to draw her away from her own self-made kingdom back to His. Watch her turn and stare in shock at the realization that these are two different things. See the Stone that makes men stumble. Watch the Ultimate Romace unfold!
Do you feel romanced?
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Stronghold
According to Scottish historians the Eilean Donan Castle was built in the reign of Alexander II to protect the area of Kintail from the Vikings who were relentlessly attacking the area. Since then it was given to the Clan Mackenzie as a thank you from Robert the Bruce for their help in the Battle of Bannockburn. They in turn gave the castle to the MacRaes who became constables of the castles, keeping law and order in the area. The Castle is located in the Scottish Highlands. Eilean Donan Castle was used in the film 'Highlander' it was from here that the MacLeods were seen to march out to their first battle. It was also the Northern base of the Secret Service in 'The World is Not Enough'. In 1719 it was garrisoned by Spaniards and was such a stronghold that when bombarded by English warships the castle was surrendered simply because the soldiers inside couldn't take it anymore. (Prior to that it had once been defended by only three people from its attackers.) The English then blew up the castle using gunpowder reducing it to ruins.
Reading the history of this castle stirs something in my heart. I think of so many times when I have felt bombarded by circumstances and/or life in general. How many times have I wanted to surrender and give up to the onslaught of the enemy of my soul simply because I am tired of being bombarded? How close am I, at those times, to victory? Can I not allow this castle to remind me that I am safe in the Hands of God, a much stronger hold, and if I can just rest and wait on Him for help, I will be delivered. I don't think I realize how strong my Castle is.
Hang in there.
As you may have guessed by the photo, the castle was rebuilt. In 1912 when Lt.-Col. John MacRae-Gilstrap decided it was time to restore the family fortress. He was helped by Farquhar MacRae who after seeking God for help, had a dream which told him exactly what the original structure had looked like. This was later confirmed by old plans kept in Edinburgh Castle. The rebuilt castle was completed in 1932. (see http://www.scotland- inverness.co.uk/Chatelaine/EDC/edc-history.htm)
Monday, October 16, 2006
Transition
Welcome to Autumn. I love the fall. I love the change of seasons! I just read that now that there is less daylight, there is less Chlorophyll. Less chlorophyll (is this how you spell it?) less green, less green, more beautiful fall colors! Makes sense. I was really hoping for a nice long mild fall but as usual, it went from unseasonably warm to unseasonably cold overnight and now the weather is stuck in between getting cold and being Autumnal. Still, I love the fall. I love the change of seasons.
A friend and I were discussing the change of seasons and how it always seems that we are in a constant state of transition. Not just in the weather but in our lives. He said something interesting. "You cannot move to the next season without letting go of the last one." My mind pictured a fellow in a great leather coat trying to enjoy the hot summer sun. Or how about going to the beach in your swimsuit on a bitter cold January day? Unless you are a polar bear, this is just not enjoyable. It makes me think of that song, "He makes all things beautiful in His time". Like in Ecclesiates 3, there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven. How pleasant a warm snuggly blanket is in the chilly winter and how wonderful a cool sprinkler is in the hot summer!
I wonder what is beautiful in this time of my life. What are the elements, if you will, that I am still holding on to that are simply not for now and have temporarily lost their "beauty"? As I let go of the season I feel I am shedding, I begin to see the new season coming on. As it begins to take shape, it is earmarked by it's own beatuty and although the beauty of seasons past do not lose their wonder in my estimation of them, I do begin to release them to be what they were, the past, and release myself to embrace the beauty of the coming season.
Happy transition!
A friend and I were discussing the change of seasons and how it always seems that we are in a constant state of transition. Not just in the weather but in our lives. He said something interesting. "You cannot move to the next season without letting go of the last one." My mind pictured a fellow in a great leather coat trying to enjoy the hot summer sun. Or how about going to the beach in your swimsuit on a bitter cold January day? Unless you are a polar bear, this is just not enjoyable. It makes me think of that song, "He makes all things beautiful in His time". Like in Ecclesiates 3, there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven. How pleasant a warm snuggly blanket is in the chilly winter and how wonderful a cool sprinkler is in the hot summer!
I wonder what is beautiful in this time of my life. What are the elements, if you will, that I am still holding on to that are simply not for now and have temporarily lost their "beauty"? As I let go of the season I feel I am shedding, I begin to see the new season coming on. As it begins to take shape, it is earmarked by it's own beatuty and although the beauty of seasons past do not lose their wonder in my estimation of them, I do begin to release them to be what they were, the past, and release myself to embrace the beauty of the coming season.
Happy transition!
Friday, August 25, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Greeting Cards
I used to buy greeting cards all the time but then I would end up writing a mini-novel inside. My friends stopped opening my cards right away, saving them for later "when I have time to read". So then I went to buying blank cards and then eventually to just grabbing some paper and writing a letter. I guess a card just became not quite enough. Lately though I have been pondering the simplicity of just a little note to touch that one place that needs a touch. It makes me think of God and how He not only wrote huge symphonies in the skies and oceans and mountains of the world but also little love notes in the butterflies, snowflakes, unexpected notes from friends, or that unexpected free cup of coffee the cafe owner just felt like bestowing upon me this morning. Sometimes He reaches us with entire volumes lavishing His love on us in buckets. Other times He just whispers "I love you" and it is overwhelming.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Wonderful Aching
My husband has been on his annual training with the National Guard for 9 days now and there are still 5 more days to go. He has been away for so long and not being with him has been torture! I knew I would miss him but I had no idea it would feel like this. I feel as if my whole being is slowly tearing in two. In my head I think I am doing ok because I talk to him on the phone (thank God for Cell phones) everyday. We also send each other pictures (thank God for phones with cameras!) everyday too. Nevertheless, the aching and longing inside what I can only call my heart is never satisfied. There is something about his voice coupled with the things he says to me and the way he talks to me that always draws me into his arms. To never be able to satify that drawing is only causing the ache to grow. Its like a (dare I say it?) physical addiction and it is affecting every other part of me. I frequently feel like I am forgetting something - in truth I am missing something - or more accurately, someone. I can't seem to remember the simplest things and at the end of the day I can't recall all the ways I spent my time. I know I had my sister over last week. What day was that? What did we do while she was here? I spent the whole time waiting for his call at the end of the day. The first few days were not too bad. It was like waiting for him to get home from work on a saturday - only he never did, and still hasn't. Yesterday evening I thought of him in prayer and realized that the longing I felt for him was nothing compared to the longing that Jesus feels for us, His Bride. Gary said that his arms ache to hold me. Can you imagine the aching of the arms of God to hold us? I know beyond all things that the love and romance that God created in the art of this world is a reflection of His own heart and that every relationship reveals something of the truth of it. If so, then the aching tearing longing wonderful pain that I feel in being away from my husband is but a reflection and revelation of the truth of the aching longing that Jesus experiences all the time awaiting the day when He will be united with us forever. The joy and satisfaction and pleasure that we bring to Him even though we cannot see each other or physically hold each other just makes us fall deeper in love with Him as we hear the things He speaks to our hearts in tenderness and adoration. Yes, the Son of God adores us! We are adorable to Him! He sees our hearts, hears our voice and it endears us to Him. In the same way, if we will listen to His heart and and hear the love that is spoken in so many ways (including in word) His heart and His tenderness will draw us in to deeper love with Him.
I also realized that no matter what imperfections I see in myself, my husband still is delighted with me. I enjoyed bringing delight to my husband and thought about how much delight we must bring to the Father. He knows our weaknesses and our failures and yet there is something about us that holds His affections that goes deeper than failure and is strnger than our weaknesses. He loves us and He sees us like no one else can. You think you know the darkness of your heart, He sees darkness you don't even know about yet. Still, His love for us is unshakable. He knows we will betray Him. He knows that in our pride we will defy Him and insist we are our own ruler. He knows that we have been twisted and perverted by the world we live in and that we will choose many times to sin rather than surrender. He also knows that we long to be good, to be just, to be like Him. We long to please Him and be with Him, to embrace Him and return the love He so lavishly gives. It is this part of us, this part that says YES to His love that He responds to. It is all that matters to Him. All that other stuff - the darkness - can be dealt with. Is there a YES in our heart? This is what draws Him to us and opens ourselves to His hand. This is what ravishes His heart.
I am not perfect. I do not love perfectly. My husband is not perfect either nor does he love perfectly. Father is perfect and loves perfectly and He has given us this love with which we can love each other. This love looks at the darkness and sees it as changeable and looks at the light and sees it as unchangeable and increasing.
Yes, my arms ache to hold my husband and be held by him once again. This aching is wonderful. It tells me that my heart is truely his. No one else can satisfy this aching. Father has a wonderful ache. His heart is truely ours and no one else can satisfy that ache.
I also realized that no matter what imperfections I see in myself, my husband still is delighted with me. I enjoyed bringing delight to my husband and thought about how much delight we must bring to the Father. He knows our weaknesses and our failures and yet there is something about us that holds His affections that goes deeper than failure and is strnger than our weaknesses. He loves us and He sees us like no one else can. You think you know the darkness of your heart, He sees darkness you don't even know about yet. Still, His love for us is unshakable. He knows we will betray Him. He knows that in our pride we will defy Him and insist we are our own ruler. He knows that we have been twisted and perverted by the world we live in and that we will choose many times to sin rather than surrender. He also knows that we long to be good, to be just, to be like Him. We long to please Him and be with Him, to embrace Him and return the love He so lavishly gives. It is this part of us, this part that says YES to His love that He responds to. It is all that matters to Him. All that other stuff - the darkness - can be dealt with. Is there a YES in our heart? This is what draws Him to us and opens ourselves to His hand. This is what ravishes His heart.
I am not perfect. I do not love perfectly. My husband is not perfect either nor does he love perfectly. Father is perfect and loves perfectly and He has given us this love with which we can love each other. This love looks at the darkness and sees it as changeable and looks at the light and sees it as unchangeable and increasing.
Yes, my arms ache to hold my husband and be held by him once again. This aching is wonderful. It tells me that my heart is truely his. No one else can satisfy this aching. Father has a wonderful ache. His heart is truely ours and no one else can satisfy that ache.
Monday, May 08, 2006
My place
There is great benefit to just being with someone. I love that my husband and I can be together all the time now that we are married. I mean, of course, we have to go to work everyday but from the very moment we wake up, we are together. When we come home from work, we are together. Neither of us has to drive any given amout to get to the other and we never have to say good bye in order to say good night. It's a wonderful thing after so many months of our engagement spent parting company each night.
Every night when we get home we take a few minutes just to embrace and let the day wash away. Sometimes it only takes a few moments. Other times it seems to take forever to get my heart to come home and rest. So much of the business of the day attaches itself to me and begins to leach out the life that I long to hoard for our time together. When I find my spot, that place in his arms I begin to relax and those cares and worries and distractions drop off and melt away. Once again I am home and the things that matter the most regain their rightful position.
This is what time with Father does too. Did you know that there is a special place in His heart just for you? Your own spot? And whenever you want you can go to that spot and He will embrace you and I guarantee that if you stay there long enough the cares and worries and distractions of life will drop off of you and His love will wash them away. You can find your place in the Heart of God. Just take the time to embrace Him and be still.
Psalm 46:10 tells us to do just that - to be still and know that He is God. Being still is difficult but we must contend for it! For it is in that secret place of stillness that He will reveal Himself to us. He longs for us to know Him deeper and more intimately. He desires for our relationship to grow. Just as my relationship with my Husband began as friendship, warmed into companionship and boiled into intimacy, so God desires that the friendship He shares with His people become something more - something deeper - something far more intimate. He longs to share His heart with His beloved. What a concept when you understand that YOU are that beloved one! Be still and know.
Know that He is God. This has so often meant to me that He wants me to see how big He is and how powerful He is so that I won't have to be worried or afraid. But now it goes much deeper. He is God and God is the lover of my soul. God is my Creator and the One who cherishes me as His own. God is my Father Who loves me, His daughter. His heart is toward me. It is vital to know this. This gives me life. This gives me purpose. This gives me peace and rest. What good is it to know how powerful He is if I do not believe that He would use that power on my behalf? How many damsels in distress, turmoil and danger are comforted into peace and hope simply by the arrival of their hero? Every single one of them that knows they are loved by that Hero.
So relax. Take the time to be still.
And stay there until you are finally at home in the heart of God.
Every night when we get home we take a few minutes just to embrace and let the day wash away. Sometimes it only takes a few moments. Other times it seems to take forever to get my heart to come home and rest. So much of the business of the day attaches itself to me and begins to leach out the life that I long to hoard for our time together. When I find my spot, that place in his arms I begin to relax and those cares and worries and distractions drop off and melt away. Once again I am home and the things that matter the most regain their rightful position.
This is what time with Father does too. Did you know that there is a special place in His heart just for you? Your own spot? And whenever you want you can go to that spot and He will embrace you and I guarantee that if you stay there long enough the cares and worries and distractions of life will drop off of you and His love will wash them away. You can find your place in the Heart of God. Just take the time to embrace Him and be still.
Psalm 46:10 tells us to do just that - to be still and know that He is God. Being still is difficult but we must contend for it! For it is in that secret place of stillness that He will reveal Himself to us. He longs for us to know Him deeper and more intimately. He desires for our relationship to grow. Just as my relationship with my Husband began as friendship, warmed into companionship and boiled into intimacy, so God desires that the friendship He shares with His people become something more - something deeper - something far more intimate. He longs to share His heart with His beloved. What a concept when you understand that YOU are that beloved one! Be still and know.
Know that He is God. This has so often meant to me that He wants me to see how big He is and how powerful He is so that I won't have to be worried or afraid. But now it goes much deeper. He is God and God is the lover of my soul. God is my Creator and the One who cherishes me as His own. God is my Father Who loves me, His daughter. His heart is toward me. It is vital to know this. This gives me life. This gives me purpose. This gives me peace and rest. What good is it to know how powerful He is if I do not believe that He would use that power on my behalf? How many damsels in distress, turmoil and danger are comforted into peace and hope simply by the arrival of their hero? Every single one of them that knows they are loved by that Hero.
So relax. Take the time to be still.
And stay there until you are finally at home in the heart of God.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Utterly Incapable
I am realizing more and more how utterly incapable we are of bringing about freedom in our own lives. Today I sat in utter astounding amazement and although it may contain slight echoes of pride I will share this freely. (After all exposing pride to the light is fatal to pride.) Change began to happen in front of me - change that I had nothing to do with. I was so happy and so swept away by the power on display. I am not sure that it wasn't just the effects of change that were sweeping me off my feet. I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I didn't try hard or focus or walk through fifteen steps. It just happened right in front of me - before my very eyes. Proof once again that the work of God in our lives is just that - the work of God. Like the song says - "You're the God and I'm the man". How relieving it is to have that revelation. Yet the question Peter put so perfectly remains. How then should we live? Certainly there is a place of humility and submission to Him wherein these workings of power flow freely. I know that rebellion in my heart - that insistance that I know the way above what God is speaking into my life - can not only hinder but will halt the flow. Otherwise, its like trying to feed a child that won't stop talking. You have to hush the chid in order to feed him. Then again, sometimes the best way to hush a child is to stick something good in his mouth! I think God does each. Somethimes He wants us to quiet our selves, to lay aside our own thoughts and opinions and what we think is true and surrender to Him and to His truth. To let our pride die and open ourselves to receive fresh bread. Then there are other times when right in the middle of saying something the Spirit of God intervenes in his mercy and rescues me from a deceit or wrong opinion by exploding his truth in my heart and bubbling it up right out of my own mouth. This just happened last week. I was speaking with a friend of mine about anger and began to say things to her that were actually ministering to my own heart. Things I knew were not from myself and things that I knew were from God because there was power in them and I was getting free. Wow. So, I don't put anything past God. I do not pretend to know how He works or why He does what He does. I do know this, He is good and all His ways are love.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Redemptive Suffering
The Bride of Christ needs to learn how to receive mistreatment - how not to have to defend herself. God is her husband and defender. Mistreatment can be seen as "redemptive suffering" which should not be despised - it counts for something. God will use it to form and mold us - exposing weaknesses and faultlines. Mistreatment is a test which contains an avenue of transformation - it takes you to a place of "leaning on your Lover" Not defending myself - an opportunity to lean on Jesus and let Him purge my soul of weaknesses. There is something better than being right in life - being free from pride and dying to self-protection.
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